An Old Maryland Favorite¹

 1 census map                                                   

4 cups Democratic voters

4 cups Republican voters                                 

2 cups Unaffiliated voters

Regional adjustment: In a Republican-dominated state, use up to 5 firmly packed cups of Democrats; in a Democratic-dominated state, use up to 5 firmly packed cups of Republicans.

2 eggs, well beaten

1 teaspoon baking powder - or ¼ teaspoon of political ambition may be substituted – experience has shown a little goes a long way.

½ cup melted shortening (shortchanging of incumbents may be substituted, but the cake may become bitter)

½ cup milk

1 teaspoon artificial vanilla or other artificial flavoring - even artificial “reform” has been used!

Beat firmly until public interest subsides.  Then add 1 map of election returns.

Pour beaten mixture into a baking dish carefully marked to show the locations of the homes of incumbents office holders.

Bake in a closed room* until immediately before the legislative session - or until an opinion poll can be inserted and removed cleanly.

*Note: For most reliable results, the room should be filled with loyal party leaders.  Adding independent members may produce unpredictable results.

            Caution: Do not expose to sunlight while baking - this may ruin your cake!

Refrigerate for at least 4 hours if your party has only recently gained a majority – in this situation, Gerrymander cake, like revenge, is a dish best served cold.

Cut into irregular slices.  Serves 4 million voters - poorly.

¹ This is the traditional Maryland recipe.  Other states have similar recipes, which may be adapted for use in other locations, making adjustments as noted.